August 2012
I think I'm missing the point of the Olympics
Me while watching:
Jesus, look at those arms.
Damn, look at those quads.
Sweet Lord, look at that butt.
July 2012
Dumbledore: Welcome back to another year of Hogwarts!
Dumbledore: I actually don't know why your parents still send you here
Dumbledore: There's like a 30% chance you'll die tragically
Dumbledore: And it just goes up every year
Dumbledore: I guess that just means all your parents hate you
Dumbledore: Great let's have some pumpkin juice
After a long day at work I come home to find that my dad needs me to work his shift at the gym…yay…
the hardcore way to eat ramen
boil water
eat block of ramen
drink boiling water
snort flavor powder
fuck bitches
me: I have a headache
family: WELL MAYBE IF YOU DIDN'T SIT IN FRONT OF THAT COMPUTER ALL THE TIME YOU--
me: *leaves*
me: omg yes this is one of my favorite songs ever
other person in the car: talks through the entire song
Benefits when you're cute: More people notice you, more people talk to you, people listen to you, you get jobs easier, you get dates easier, it's easier to get into a relationship, people text you back faster, you get more followers, you get on those fuckyeah sites faster, you feel better about yourself.
Benefits when you're ugly: You don't get raped.
Call Me Maybe starts playing on the radio
me: oh my god not again
me:
me: I THREW A WISH IN THE WELL DON'T ASK ME I'LL NEVER TELL
How bra stores seem to think things work:
Anything smaller than a C cup: must be pre-pubescent. Ugly patterns, and colours. Lot's of animals and stripes.
C to D cup: A woman! Pretty lacy things, nice patterns, large variety.
Anything over a D cup: Beige. Lots and lots of beige.
teenporno:
i dont understand why my mom has such a problem with my internet addiction
it was either this or drugs
